=(

Monday, May 31, 2010

today is a tiring day for me!
my right hand is hardly move right now,
it is quite painful...
yet i still have to work until thursday?
i just have to hang on few more days and i will be free!!...
hang on~~

alright,
i cried AGAIN,last night..
i doesn't know that i like him until like that?
it is very surpised to me,
as i doesn't really believe in relationship?
i told superman:i gave up!
i doesn't wanna anything anymore!.
please dun force me anymore!...
i... hurt him!
i'm so sorry about it...
he doesn't reply my message anymore...
what can i really do?
if not i give up on relationship,
if not i give up on friendship?
WHY MUST I ALWAYS CHOOSE WITHIN TWO CHOICES?!
WHY?!
WHY?!WHY?!
I DON'T WANNA TO !
I DON'T WANNA TO!!

=(

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{11:45 PM|
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Sunday, May 30, 2010

I had a great time with family today.
went to ah ma and dicuss about ah gong's matter..
after that,went to eat..
the food was so awful!..
ok,but it is also expensive as well..
$73 dollars!!
we are going to have BBQ soon!..
on the day of my sister's birthday... =D
i am so excited for that day,
it will be very fun!..

hmm...
i cried again last night...
i sleep at 5 in the morning..
i doesn't wanna to remember last night at all..
i told superman that i will be leaving his life,
as long he is happy..
it is really hard for me to let him go.
but yet i still have to force myself to..
i doesn't wanna to talk about it anymore..
i still have to hang on and move on with my life.
thanks for giving such a good memories...
THANKS!...

need time,
but when is the time?

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{10:17 PM|
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=(

The date is around the corner,
2nd of june...
the date that we deicided to be together?
actually it is not his fault for him to let go?
it is not his idea for him to ask me for stead,
it is my friend's idea..
so it is his freedom to find for his better relationship?
actually you doesn't owe me anything,
so you no need to say sorry or so...
lucky i have to work on that day,at least i can spend my day without thinking of him...
i doesn't know how do you really feel?
to me,i feel that you doesn't really care...
maybe it is my problem,i am such a insecure girl..
yet you are unable to give me anything...
you are happy right now,
i am happy for you...
i hope that u can everlasting with your present girlfriend..
this time round,i am unable not to give up on you..
it is VERY VERY PAINFUL!!...

i still remember how we spend our little time?
i will still laugh whenever i remember how do u fell down in front of me,
and yet u still acting cool ?
i still remember our 老地方...
i still remember how do u scare me?
i will always remember everything in between us...
LMY,yet i am unable to let u know...
FORGET IT...
U MUST FORGET HIM!!.. =(

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{12:46 AM|
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i am nothing?

Friday, May 28, 2010

oh well,i saw a runway at my workplace.
i think it is so cool...
i am so hyper right now,
as tomorrow is my last day of work for this week!!...
actually,i still have many problems on me.
yet i choose to let it be..
i doesn't know this pathe is it right or wrong to me?
the decision that i made,unable to return anymore.
i doesn't know letting him go is it really the best way to us?
but i know something.
it hurts me!
it is really painful when u choose to leave someone u love?
i doesn't know how long i can hang on?
i told myself,
as long as he is happy with it,
i will do as he wish.
now ii had understand how he feels?
this role is hard to be.
i am trying my best to moving on with my life,
but u know that?
without him,everything seems to be not right.
i knew he doesn't have the time to come up,
thats why this is only the place that i can really express my true feelings.
i think i will lie to him.
i will lie to him that i had a boyfriend.
for me to really give up on him..
actually i doesn't wanna to hurt him,
but i have no choice?

are u happy right now?
i really hope your life is better than mine?
i can just forcing myself to move on......
..............

原来爱总是让人哭让人辛苦
到底付出了多少才能看清楚
想跟随你的眼神却忘记脚步
也忘了什么是幸福...

without you,i am nothing...

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{1:11 AM|
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out of control

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

nearly out of control today...
nearly cry out...
it is my fault,cause i listened to those sad songs since working..
i doesn't smile through out the entire working time..
but i smile because of my stupid mother..
who doesn't know how to control the computer..
just only like to laugh,
but at least i smile today?
i wonder how long can i still able to hang on?
i always hang on,moving on..
but how much longer can i control myself?
i doesn't know,
i had a date with ee ling this week,
on sunday!!...
MY OFF DAY!.. YEAH!~
it is so random.. haha.

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{11:57 PM|
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what can i do?

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I HATE GUYS WHO LIKE TO FLIRT!!!...

I quarrelled with him just now,
because of a friend..
actually,there is no need for me to talk about him anymore.
i had told him just be friends will do.
maybe we doesn't have the fate to be couple again?
i know that i still care about him,
but i won't let myself step over the line,
not because i doesn't care anymore,
just that i prefer to be like this?

maybe not,but forcing myself to...
not because i want it,but i can't choose it...
i doesn't let him know that i still care,
i take it very lightly...
i doesn't ask him,
he doesn't ask me,
he gave up,
while i am trying to...

using work to fill up my time,
used up all my energy for not letting me to think about it...
don't wanna to think about it.
don't wanna to talk about it.
don't wanna to heard about it.
what can i do then?

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{11:59 PM|
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time?

Saturday, May 22, 2010

可以说很不开心，
不是发生了什么事情，
而是觉得好累，
还是会觉得累...
去教会可能那是错误的决定,
i am not supposed to go...
just that, i can't hide myself somewhere...
not crying over those things,
but to give myself some times to be alone.
recently,i love to be alone.
maybe,everything will not going to be the same as before.
i am tired of everything yet i am unable to do anything.
i can't stop such life,
i can't stop the time...
what i can do is just force myself to accept everything?
even though it is a cruel thing to me.
acting everyday,
i am so happy today =D
but do u know i am miserable inside?
no one know it,
so now only time can cure my woundS.

CAN THE TIME BE FASTER? =(

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{10:50 PM|
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hais

Thursday, May 20, 2010

下雨天，
真的会改变一个人的心情...
我该说那是改变吗?
可能那是我放弃所有的情绪，
我没再在乎什么...
这一次，
我真的打算什么都不管了，
这一次我想为自己自私...
为我的心找一个开心的方式，
让自己开心点...
可能心愿始终不能如愿，
那我也只好放弃那心愿，
因为这是最平凡的，
也是最困难的幸福...

我总是不够成熟，
像个孩子一样任性，
是我不够好...
我不体贴，
也不温柔...
我不想给你任何的负担，
却做不到..
对不起，
说再多也不能留下什么，
我承认自己的软弱，
承认自己根本就不够坚强...
是我的错..
不要再纵容我的自私了，
真的!
我不想连自己都讨厌这样的自己...

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{3:00 PM|
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好想恨你!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

我很不开心 =(
我真的厌倦了这样的生活，
假如你难过，
对不起!
不用让我知道，
因为我不需要再知道...
我的心累了，
痛了，
哭了...
不要管了!

我控制不了我的眼泪，
并不是我想为了你哭，
而是你不值得我为你哭...
我好想笑，
笑我的失败，
笑我做人是那么的失败...
朋友?
对我来说是垃圾，
而我不用再珍惜谁，
因为你们都不需要...
我不会同情你!!

你知道我有多想恨你吗?!
你到底要我怎么办?
你给我的还剩下什么?
你千万不要给我理由去恨你...

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{12:47 AM|
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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

我用睡眠的时间来post，
能说是为了自己吧?
我和他说了，
我想做朋友...
我不知道他在不在乎，
也不用知道..
有些事情不用拆穿，
假装不知道反而对我对他都好...
我也不知道我哪来的勇气，
告诉他这一句...
我放弃，
我知道我会难过，
但是我觉得我不会后悔..
我会后悔，
因为我无法和他在一起..

或许是我对他有要求，
其实我不该给他任何压力，
他很不开心，
但是他还说他没事..
我不知道为什么我很难过,
因为我帮不上他什么..
所以，
我把我们的关系变回最初的朋友，
那时我和他都会说出心里话的朋友....

我想念你依赖我的感觉，
你不需要逞强...
我可以不做你的女朋友，
因为我只想要你快乐，
你知道我的感受吗?

我不稀罕你女朋友的位置，
我想要的是能与你同甘，
我希望我可以分担你的痛苦，
而不是一而再的觉得对我有亏欠...

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{12:28 AM|
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Saturday, May 15, 2010

sometimes it is hard for us to do something that we want to..

下一秒不知道会发生什么事，只有在当下做出对你最好的选择...
人总是要失去了才懂得那人的重要，
那为什么你不珍惜呢?
等到那个人想放弃了，
绝望了，
你才想要去挽回...

那是否一切都没有意义了?
有很多时候，
我们无法决定什么，
我们的手心有不同的命运，
有长与短，
有弯与直，
也等于我们才控制着我们的生命..

虽然我们能控制着我们的生命，
但是我们却无法回头，
回到我们失去得当下...
挽回所有你不想失去的一切...

不要做会让你后悔的事情，
一旦你后悔，
你就无法挽回什么了...

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{10:50 PM|
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精彩的人生

我每天的事情就是，
起来，
做工，
放工，
冲凉，
睡觉...

有没有更精彩的人生呢?
没有意义的人生，
那根本就没有活在这世界过...

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{10:23 AM|
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对还是错?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

有人说：开心，
悲伤，难过，生气，
那都是我们人生的一部分，
没有了难过，
又怎么会记得快乐?

连续做四天工的我，
快被累死，
也快被无聊死...
这几天，
我发现了很多东西，
也发现了一些事情..
或许我不该去窥探那些事情，
而是我是不小心发现到的...

家里的事情，
朋友的事情，
工作的事情，
感情的事情，
这一些都是我生活中的一部分，
我知道这一些都是我的烦恼，
但是我又该怎么办呢?

有很多时候，
不应该用脑去想事情，
而是需要去用心...
比如：感情?
我在帮助我的朋友挽回她的感情，
我帮她，
不是说她做得对，
我也知道她做的是错的，
但是我还是帮了她，
不为什么，
只为了一句她爱他...
或许很多人会说：
你神经病啊!为什么你要让她受伤?
那我问你：你和一个人在一起12-3年，
你会舍得离开他吗?
别一下子就回答我，
别人的事情，
说得简单，
自己的问题，
你铁定会犹豫不决...
你会说我很笨，
但是或许让她再一次的伤害，
她才会得一次教训..
不管是什么结果，
我希望我看到的是好事，
也希望我做的决定是对的...

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{11:46 PM|
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whats that mean?

Monday, May 3, 2010

我不是不明白，
你给我的那两首歌，
曾经也是我想给你的...
我以为一直在背后难熬的人，
是我..
或许我一直都把自己为中心，
而忘了去考虑你的心情...
真的很对不起，
我很努力不去想了，
但是我还是不能控制...

假如现在的你,想放弃的话.我二话不说地放弃.不是不再像过去一样，而是我不希望我和你的感情变成你的一种束缚.有时,我真的觉得好累... 我是觉得对她不公平...

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{11:58 PM|
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怎么办?

Saturday, May 1, 2010

是我太残忍了吗?
我做错了吗?
我在他最难过的时候，
放弃他...
我算是背叛了他，
你欠我的...
我不知道该怎么做了...

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{11:51 PM|
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累

累是我现在的生活，
不想说什么...
只想说:我真的好累好累...!

Journey through this phase of my life @ |{1:09 AM|
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